Support Hans' Lifestyle
Choose your level of Hans enthusiasm. All tiers include the same amount of actual Hans content: unlimited.
(Hans did not approve these prices. Hans was not consulted.)
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Casual Observer
Free/forever
- Access to 3 photos of Hans per month
- One of them is blurry
- Hans is vaguely aware you exist
- No refunds (nothing to refund)
Most Popular (with Hans)
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Hans Enthusiast
4.99 kr/per month
- Full gallery access
- Weekly "Hans Fact" (unverified)
- Personal Skål from Hans on your birthday (not guaranteed)
- Hans will think about you occasionally
- Digital certificate of Hans appreciation
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Ultimate Hans VIP
49.99 kr/per month
- Everything in Hans Enthusiast
- Hans follows you back on Instagram (he won't)
- Exclusive "Hans After Dark" content (it's just Hans sleeping)
- Priority access to Hans merch (doesn't exist)
- Hans will nod in your general direction
- Your name in the credits (there are no credits)
Frequently Asked Questions About Subscribing
What do I actually get?▾
The satisfaction of clicking a button. Also Hans content, which is arguably less satisfying.
Is there a free trial?▾
Everything is a free trial. Hans has never actually charged anyone.
Can I cancel anytime?▾
There is nothing to cancel. You are free. You were always free. Hans cannot hold you here.
Does Hans know I subscribed?▾
Hans checks the subscriber list occasionally. He nods. He goes back to the couch.